If I Wrote a Sermon

I met Jesus in Sunday school. I have no idea how old I was. Young. It was not until recently that I opened my heart enough to understand how I had come to love Jesus. It was an innocent love, a child’s love—a love that has not really progressed from my feelings in those days.

I know some of you, and those of you whom I know well accept that I tend to be simple-minded. I have come to believe that I had a head injury during my difficult high-forceps delivery—my entry into the world—and that the head trauma changed me. This is my way of explaining to you that I have come to understand the love of Jesus not through the use of intellect, and certainly not by internalizing scripture because I could not read very well until I was in third grade. I had trouble concentrating, so hearing a sermon set my mind to wandering after a few seconds. I learned about Jesus through comic books: Sunday school Bible stories in cartoon form. Jesus comic books with pictures that told the highlights of his good deeds. He seemed to help people.

Also, in the first rows at the foot of the pulpit, within an unhurried one-half hour just before the main service, there were those simple kindly spoken pastoral stories; parables of the compassion, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, and love shown in the actions of Jesus. I don’t remember a lot of don’ts, mostly do’s…follow his example.

I was unclear about the word ‘sin,’ my sense was that people make mistakes—I certainly did. Jesus even treated them, people who make mistakes, kindly; and asked others who seemed so ready to judge and punish, he asked those people to honestly ask themselves…had they never done anything wrong? Nobody threw a stone. 

My mother and I would say the Lord’s Prayer and we would recite the 23rd Psalm at bedtime. There was an embroidered cross with the words of the Lord’s Prayer over my bed. My mother made it. That part about the Valley of the Shadow of Death, always evoked a chilling image, but 'thou art with me…’ gave comfort. And so, those simple experiences formed my sense of the kind of human being Jesus was and, of my own volition, who I wanted to be; and without a lot of reading. He seemed to me to be like a superhero, a hero whose power is the power of Love. I liked him. He seemed nice. Friendly. What would you expect a child to say? 

Before I go on, it is worth a bit of time to talk about the word ‘love’ and what it means to me. When I deeply try to feel what it would be like to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, to act like him, the form of love that I sense is required of me is different from what most of us might consider love to be. His type of love is unconditional and, in a way, impersonal. Or is it that Jesus brought us a very personal love, but not a private love. He loves me, and he also loves everybody else. It seems more like Jesus was BEING Love. Did he give personal love, or was he emanating Love? Love flows through him, and we can allow ourselves to feel that love. I could be all wrong, but this is where I come from as I attempt to follow the example of Jesus with my life.  

A while ago, I decided I would drive to Ohio or Indiana to see the total eclipse of the sun. Often, when I am driving, my mind is flooded with the beauty of the world, the miracle of being a witness to creation, or whatever that stuff is all around me, and this trip was no different. My mind started to wander, taking it all in…but fortunately, a part of my brain is a very good driver.

You know that ‘Virginia is for lovers’? Think about that for a minute. What an audacious statement—and so open to interpretation. Perhaps we can agree that there is a romantic beauty to the diverse topography of the state of Virginia and that Virginia’s natural beauty would support and enhance the wonderful excitement of romantic love when our hearts are bursting with joy? As Christians, we might take comfort in knowing that we can start our practice of being loving in Virginia, in a state of the Union that is not afraid to use the word love. I’m going way out on a limb here… Being loving, being love, is also a state, a state of mind might be the correct or common phrase; but a state of the heart seems more accurate.

I always liked the image of Jesus with his heart visible through his chest. His heart on fire with radiations coming out. The heart has a crown of thorns and a cross is present. It took me many years to understand that to truly open myself to love, to the love that Jesus offered the world, would also mean feeling the suffering of so many. Was his heart on fire with the intense friction between the reality of suffering and the comfort possible through love and grace? I always thought the radiation of love overwhelmed the suffering. But of course, that is what I hoped would happen to me, so I might have brought wishful thinking to my interpretation of the image. I did not seek the interpretation of others, I was content with mine: radiating love even while holding suffering in the heart.

While I was humming along at the speed limit with cruise control engaged, the red buds lining the roadside with a rich and subtle pink mixed with the pale yellow-green of the early leafing of scattered bushes and trees, my mind kept wandering into the topic of love. Here and there were the occasional sculptures made of boxes, bails, or wood— the word LOVE as sculptural declarations. Then, what to my wandering and wondering eyes did appear but… Dolly Parton on a billboard telling me, “Find the good in everybody,”  and then a few words and a link: ‘Kindness:  Pass it on.com.’ I got emotional, but for me that seems to happen more and more these days, it seems related to experiences of goodness. It is a simple saying pointing to a task of love, a way to take action. Simple: Find the good in everybody. Be kind.

Actually not so simple. 

We are taught in scripture to love our brothers and sisters, our neighbors as ourselves, but who among us can truthfully say we fully love the mess of contradictions, and flaws, and talents that make up the human being…called ‘me’? All too often I find myself skipping the important step of digging deep and accepting who I am…the perfectly imperfect being God created. It is a step toward love that I have worked on for years, and I am still working on it. It seems easier to love others, to be kind to others, to show mercy, forgive, and have compassion for others. But all too often I don’t even show myself that same courtesy, and if I cannot treat myself well, how will I treat others? If I fail to follow Jesus and fail to offer kindness to myself, what will I offer others? This is not a selfishness, it is a discipline, the discipline of unconditional love.  

As I was turning north away from those black seams that trace the coal deposits of Southwest Virginia, turning north up Interstate 81 toward home, in the setting sun of evening, I allowed myself the joy of appreciating the beauty all around me, and the helpful people at the farmer’s market in Abbington, Virginia, and the kindness of God’s grace. I was grateful. I was eager to face a challenge worth giving my all to, to find good in everybody. To be kind, and to hope that we might all…pass kindness on to others.  

Peace